Poem of the Week – “she was afraid of being used”

“she was afraid of being used”

my heart had fell to the floor along with my
pants you ripped off of me last night. i could
not believe that i was lucky enough to be in
your sight. they say a good girl was worth
waiting for, and you laughed at the phrase.
you told me a girl is worth waiting for as long
as she stays.

i had been with you six long months and you
finally saw my skin. you were not only my
soul, but my sin. and i had given you a flower
that i would never get back, i planted it in
your heart. i didn’t know that just having sex
with you would tear me apart.

after you got what you wanted we went our
separate ways, and i went back and
remembered that phrase. i was not worth
waiting for, i was not a girl that was good
enough. so once again i made the edges of
my soul too rough. i would never let a man
touch me unless he loves me deep, so when
we went to bed all we’d do is sleep.

– i.c.

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Poem of the Week – “accomplishments come in all sizes (somes it’s just getting up in the morning)”

“accomplishments come in all sizes (sometimes it’s just getting up in the morning)”

This morning after I woke, I laid in bed and stared
at the ceiling for about thirty minutes, trying to
convince myself there was a reason to get up.
It was a fight, just to get my body to move,
because when my mind is going back and forth,
good vs bad, it almost paralyzes me. It’s like,
my whole body becomes numb and immune to
everything around me while inside my head there
is a war, a battle that I may never win. So I lay there,
almost lifeless as a dead body, “I have to get up.”
My body said yes, but my mind said no, slowly as
I could I got my feet on the floor but stared at the
wall some more. It took everything in me not to flop
back onto the pillow, only because the little voice
in my head was saying,
“there’s no use, why get up? This day is a waste,
your life is a waste.”
For a moment there, I almost let myself become
weightless and fall back into bed. Yet I knew
that’s what the demons wanted that haunt my head.
– i.c.

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